I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
