You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
