Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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