Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
