the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
