Buhtt sex?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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