I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
