Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my liver is dry heaving
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
