So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't put those talents on a resume
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
