I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
