that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize