Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
