There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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