You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I still have a little drunk in my system
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
