There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
