Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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