She said her name was "party"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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