you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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