STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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