I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
