I didn't shave. On purpose
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He better not be in your backpack
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize