Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
