Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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