If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize