redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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