can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
