u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
