did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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