I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
