His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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