nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize