I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
