i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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