listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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