I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
vagina is talking i cant
she peed on how many people?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
