today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
