Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
