you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
