Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
