Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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