he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
