bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize