So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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