ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm always down for nudity.
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