I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
