im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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