I want to have your abortion
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
