We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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