I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
