brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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