margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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