And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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