About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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