She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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