He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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