Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
