people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
