My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
