well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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