Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
whose ass print is on the piano?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
