She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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