So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
