don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
