Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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