super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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