i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize