Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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