May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
