he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
