i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
