Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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