ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
