I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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