So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
