Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
